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Crises & Epiphanies: Enough

So quick blurb: While in my masters program at TCOM, I joined this organization called MIND (Mentality Initiative to Nurture DOctors). This organization focuses on advocating for the emotional, mental, physical, holistic health of medical students, and the faculty and staff at SOM. With their permission, I was able to bring this organization to UIWSOM and start it at my own medical school. One thing I was particularly excited to do was to help plan events that would facilitate a deeper connection between the students and the faculty/staff on campus.

Yesterday, we had our introductory meeting (open to all) and ended with our very first Clark Reflection Series. Much like one of the reflections I've posted on my blog before, we were given a prompt and an opportunity to write. After writing, we sat in small groups and read our work aloud (the hardest part for me), followed by positive feedback from our partners listening.

The reflection topic was Crises and Epiphanies, and we were given these prompts (or something similar -- I can't remember exactly) to help guide our writing/story.
  • Once upon a time,
  • Every day,
  • Because of that,
  • Until finally,
  • And ever since that day,
When I started to write, I got stuck on the second bullet. I was extremely emotional trying to read this out loud to those sitting at my table, but their response was so much more rewarding than I could've imagined. So, I decided, once again, to share it here on my blog. And I've decided that this whole sharing thing is something that I want to continue to do. So here it is!

(OK, so maybe that wasn't so much of a "quick blurb." For the next ones, I can just post the topic and prompts)


And every single day
I battle with the notion that I'm not good enough
not good enough for love
not good enough to lead
to keep my friends around
to chase my dreams

I fight this feeling
in my gut that no matter how hard I try
that no matter how much I give of myself
that it will never be enough

And every single day,
this is my crisis
my kryptonite
at some point of people treating me like shit
or walking away
it has to be me
Right?

So why am I not enough
I search for this reason and can
come up with four hundred thousand reasons why
but if all of those reasons just 
define who I am 
then maybe what I am
is not enough

I can't wait for that day
where this crisis becomes an epiphany
when some bright, shiny light or
loud, booming voice yells out and says
you're enough
or maybe a quieter whispering voice who says
I'm enough
maybe a voice like my own
my own

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