For the very first time today I can finally say that I understand Passive suicidal ideation. An abstract symptomatology Now clear as day As I sit here wishing that I wasn’t Trying to scream for help But unable to catch enough air to do so. It took me over 57 hours To admit to my parents that my lifelong dream, My 3 degrees and now almost 4, Those 9 straight years of missing out, And half a million dollars of student debt Has all surmounted to nothing. I have been in this constant cycle Of holding my breath Waiting to exhale while I Work, and wait, and hope That everything I have done and endured and accomplished Would in someone else’s universe Be enough. I am adaptable, compassionate, and resilient. My hands are warm. They are steady. And they are talented. I am an unrelenting advocate for my patients and my peers and for wellness. I have given every ounce of myself to Every single team I have ever been apart of And it seems that I have ...
Like wildflowers, you must allow yourself to grow in all the places that people never thought you would.